My Christmas Babies

December 24, 2010 - I took a pregnancy test that turned out positive
December 23, 2013 - We got the call that Jordan had chosen us as adoptive parents

If you think you are sentitmental about your kids at Christmastime, you have no idea.
I very much believe that God was intentional in timing the news of my coming children - their hearts were gifted to me in the same season that God gifted Jesus to the world.

When I was pregnant with Phoenix, I needed to know that God was orchestrating something larger in my life, and Mary's story rung hope-bells in my heart. I wrote this a couple years ago about the night we found out:

During the Christmas Eve service, I was (understandly) a litte absentminded. The weightiness of my pregnancy hadn't hit, but I knew on some basic level that my whole life has just changed. I was already starting to worry about what this meant for my life, and was desperate for a word from God. And then, during one song, it occurred to me: my Christmas gift was not unlike Mary's. Granted, there were some significant differences - I was married, I wasn't especially saintly or surrenderd in obedience, there was no immaculate conception, and my baby was certainly not divine. But the unplanned, life-altering pregnancies? Mary and I most certainly had that in common.

That night, during that service, I distinctly felt myself a part of God's metanarrative. The story that began with Genesis included me and my unborn child. The character of God, as revealed in scripture, was being disclosed to me, and God's working in the world felt remarkably consistent. I felt an incredible kinship with Mary, and it was strangely comforting to know that the whole unplanned-pregnancy-thing had worked out well for her. Not that it was easy, but she was a part of God's redemptive plan.

When we were waiting for Jericho, I needed a very different word. Instead of being desperately afraid of having a child, my whole personhood ached to welcome another baby to the world. And, as I wrote last year, God used the Christmas season to re-fix my eyes on Christ, and to remind me that God does not withhold the greatest gifts from his children.

I read this (written by William Willimon) in my advent book a couple of weeks ago, and it seems an appropriate expression of how those two pajama-clad babies have wrecked and made my world.

"This is often the way God loves us: with gifts we thought we didn't need, which transform us into people we don't necessarily want to be. With our advanced degrees, armies, government programs, material comforts,  and self-fulfillment techniques, we assume that religion is about giving a little of our power in order to confirm to ourselves that we are indeed as self-sufficient as we claim.

Then this stranger comes to us, blesses us with a gift, and calls us to see ourselves as we are -- empty-handed recipients of a gracious God, who, rather that leave us to our own devices, gave us a baby."

Merry Christmas, friends.

Thanksgiving

A couple days ago, while I was working to finalize my Christmas shopping list, I turned to Phoenix and asked her, "Hey baby ... are there any new toys that you would like for presents?"
"I just already have toys in my room," she responded.
"I know, Boo, but are there any other toys that you want?"
"No."

What? Is this real life? I had wrongly projected my assumptions about children at Christmas time on to my girl, and then was blown away by her contentedness. I wasn't in town for Halloween, but apparently, at some point during trick-or-treating, she declared she had enough candy in her pumpkin.

Again, and always, she teaches me. Where it is often my impulse to accumulate (books, clothes, things for the kids, make-up, kitchen tools, whatever), she gave me a profound lesson in temperance inspired by gratitude. She has toys to play with, she enjoys them, and is therefore unconcerned with the next thing.

I love that just before the Christmas season begins, we take an intentional day to reflect and be grateful. How appropriate to stop from the barrage of emails, sale ads and gift lists to take stock of our abundance, both material and intangible.

There is a song by Audrey Assad called "I Shall Not Want" that speaks multitudes about gratitude.
Here are some of the lyrics:

From the love of my own comfort

From the fear of having nothing

From a life of worldly passions

Deliver me, O God

From the need to be understood

From the need to be accepted

From the fear of being lonely

Deliver me, O God

Deliver me, O God

And I shall not want, I shall not want

when I taste Your goodness I shall not want

when I taste Your goodness I shall not want

 This is my prayer for myself and for you this holiday season: that we would taste of the goodness of God, and be left wanting for nothing. Not things, not people, not acceptance, not success ... just basking in the fresh mercy and kindness of God. I recognize that the holidays are hard for many people -  missing home, missing family, mourning loss or estrangement. Even in that hardship, which we have a small taste of this year, may God deliver you from anything and everything that clouds the Presence.

Happy Thanksgiving, friends.

Sibling Prayers

"See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant."

I think about this verse a lot, and have for many years. Like much of my spirituality, it was sown into my heart during my days in Philly, though I don't remember the specific context. 

More recently, I think about it in the context of my kids. I'm a name nerd. and I pray that their character will someday be a reflection of the ideals woven in their names. I pray that Jericho, with his wall-tumblin' name, will break sin-chains, demolish strongholds and weed out selfishness. I pray that Phoenix, with her ash-rising name, will minister redemption, heal heartaches and spin beauty from pain. And I also pray that someday, in some way, they will minister together. What a team they would make, destroying evil and building love.

I already see echoes of answered prayer in Phoenix's sweet spirit.

I was frantically searching for my phone earlier this afternoon, and admittedly overreacted. I was harsh, intense and just plain angry with Phoenix, who was an innocent bystander hit by my crazy-shrapnel.

She found it, I apologized, and we headed to the post office.

While we were driving, her little three-year-old brain processing the earlier events, she said, "Mommy ... sometimes when grown-up girls get frustrated, big-sister girls can make them happy. I like to make you happy because I love you."

It is not her role or responsibility to attend to my emotional health. But she has always been very empathetic, very aware of the emotional realities of the people around her. Her generous, loving response to my frustration was to not to hide but to heal. 

I feel very grateful to have a front-row seat to the lives of my children, to the unfolding of their being. 

And I was reminded tonight that I also get to help write the script in a small way, not just though my day-to-day parenting, but through prayer. 

So I keep turning that verse from Jeremiah over in my head and my heart, asking that God will appoint them over nations, that they will love God and take territory for the Kingdom.

My Beach Babe

She was wearing a mismatched napping outfit - white pajama bottoms with pink pigs and a gray bird t-shirt. Her tiny toenails were pink from a recent pedicure, though her fingernails were already scraggly bits of purple from her bad habit of picking them. Her hair - oh her hair! - was an amplified version of its normal self, made extra curly by the humidity and extra crazy by the nap. A little larabar-mustache completed her look. It was the perfect package for her beautiful, sweet, quirky soul.

No plans. No phone. No baby brother. No imminent errands or packing.

Just us.

On the beach.

Her love language is quality time, just like her daddy. Unfortunately, in the last two weeks, I haven't had the margin to time-love her. She has heard a lot of "Hang on, baby" and "Not right now, baby" and "Would you like to watch some Daniel Tiger?" in the last two weeks.  Not something I'm particularly proud of or ashamed of - a moving momma has to do what she has to do.

But our last few days in Georgia were really rough for her. There were a lot of tears and quite a few meltdowns and plenty of defiance. She saw her whole world get packed up in boxes, and I know our stress and preoccupation was not lost on her.

I've been aching for some moments to just be with her.

Her body was still heavy with sleep as I carried her out to the beach, but it only took a few seconds of sea air to waken her. The temperature was perfectly neutral, the sun occasionally emerging from friendly clouds, and the water was warm. We started with no agenda, but one quickly emerged with her first exclamation of: "Oh look, Mom! A shell!"

And so it went for an hour. Every time she discovered a tiny shell in the sand, she lit up with the same excitement. Soon I had a sandy hand full of shells, because each of her discoveries quickly became a gift to me. And she said 'Mom' over and over and over, as though we both needed to be reminded of the importance of our relationship.

Because words are my love language, I try to be intentional about repeating important things to her when the moment is appropriate. One such thing I regularly say is, "I am yours and you are mine. I have access to your heart, and you have access to mine." In this stage of her life, she usually responds with a mischievous grin and the correction that, "I am MINE and you are YOURS" (I'm bracing myself for more abrasive reactions in the future). I know she is just being silly, but sometimes that rings truer than I'd like to admit. Sometimes I just don't make my heart (which beats loudly with love for her) available in the way I'd like to.

So I am thankful today for a God whose grace is fully accessible to me and sufficient for me.

And for salty, sandy, sacred moments with my girl.

Visual Lethargy

I have been reading the book "Dangerous Calling" (Paul David Tripp) for a project, and keep finding myself with a lot of things to say. This book has been quite the conundrum for me. I don't actually enjoy reading it -- largely because of the author's writing style, but also because the structure isn't intuitive and the purely diagnostic tone can be extremely frustrating. It has, however, prompted a good deal of self-reflection. Even in moments of severe disagreement with the author, I find myself forced to re-examine my motivations and my posture before God.
I can't say conclusively whether I recommend it or not ... in part because I haven't finished it, and also because my actual analysis gets muddled in my strong reactions (both positive and negative) to the content. Hopefully I can decide at some point.

I will spare you the majority of my thoughts ... most of them are either wildly personal or tinged with serious exasperation.
Here is the one tidbit I will share, starting with a passage from the book.

"Artists talk of the the dynamic of visual lethargy, which means that the more you see something, the less you actually see it. On that drive to work the first day, you are conscious of all the sights and sounds. You notice that beautiful grove of ancient trees and that cool modern duplex on the corner. But by your twentieth trip, you've quit noticing, and you're wishing the traffic would move faster so you could get to work, for Pete's sake! Something has happened to you that seems inevitable but is not good. You have quit seeing, and in you failure to see, you have quit being moved and thankful. The beauty that once attracted you is still there to see, buy you don't see it, and you cannot celebrate what you fail to see."

My gut reaction?
"This concept is totally foreign to me as a mother."

Not that every moment of every day I go about glorying in the wonder of my child ... at all. Sometimes all I see in her is a mess, or a tantrum, or a timer counting down the minutes until she goes to bed.
But not a day goes by where I don't have at least one awe-moment. Where I really see her ... her sweet soul, her feisty spirit, her beautiful person. And this is not something I have to muster up, but rather a spontaneous response to being near to her.

[Brief interlude for pictures of aforementioned baby ... pictures that I can't stop looking at. And sending to people. And making Josh look at.]

This one is a teaser from our family picture session with Kevin Scheidt

Ok, so back to what I was saying.

So I started to wonder ... why would I have visual lethargy with some things (like my drive to work), but not with my daughter or husband?

It's because they are dynamic. Two weeks ago, Phoenix would just sit and watch me play patty cake. Now she joins in clapping. Two weeks ago, Josh would have gagged at the idea of eating tofu. But he has eaten it twice this week and LIKED IT (what!?).
I keep falling in love with Josh and Phoenix every day because I have never discovered the depths of who they are. Even if I were close, they are both constantly changing. Real loving means braving uncharted territory everyday, which (though sometimes scary or intimidating) always involves miraculous treasures. No day passes without at least a millisecond of awe.

I have always been drawn to the unchanging character of God. He is faithful, and that truth gives me strength to cling to Him even when my world seems to spin out of control.

But today, I am thankful also for the dynamic spirit of God. I am thankful that it is impossible to have visual lethargy when one's spiritual eyes are fixed on Christ. I am thrilled anew that I have only a grain of knowledge about God, and that He will spend the rest of eternity surprising me. I am a captive audience, waiting with bated breath to see what He reveals next.
And I am humbled that my story of grace is dynamic as well - that forgiveness is a fresh offering every moment, and that my renewal blooms with a simple prayer.

Dragon Girl

First of all ... are dragons birds or reptiles?
If their wings make them birds, then my little firebird was a firebird for Halloween.

Cutest little dragon I've ever seen.

 

That picture was take at my moms group Halloween party.

 

The festivities continued last night with a 12Stone staff Trunk-or-Treat party. In case the concept isn't familiar to you, everyone lines up their cars, decorates their trunks and then the kiddies go from car to car for candy.

 

 

 

Here she is hanging out in one of the nursery rooms while daddy worked on the trunk.

 

 

We ate some dinner before heading out to collect candy.

Phoenix ate a hot dog for the first time, and had her first Cheeto. Josh was really upset that I didn't document such a momentous occasion.

 

Here she is actually wearing her dragon hood - I'm lucky she isn't screaming in this picture.

 



 

Maybe it's just because I know her, but I think she is obviously a girl ... she has such a pretty face! But she got called "buddy" so many times last night that I just gave up correcting people. Even when she was wearing a purple sweatshirt and gold sparkly shoes, some old man at Hobby Lobby started talking to her about her future wife. Weird.

 

But we had tons of fun hanging out with our co-workers and trying to guess the parents of each kid that stopped by our trunk.

 

And Phoenix now understands the concept of candy in wrappers ... and she will do anything for some chocolate.

 

 

At the end of the night, when we had taken Phoenix's costume off for the drive home, Josh decided to wear it for a bit.

Love him.

 



 

We had tons of fun and lots of candy (nerd shots, anyone?)!

Thankful

Josh and I waited until Friday morning to call our social worker to cancel our home visit - we were giving God every last minute to miraculously provide the money for us.

But by Thursday afternoon, I was getting the feeling that maybe things wouldn't end up going according to plan. Trying to fight my glass-half-empty tendencies, I sat outside with Phoenix waiting for the mail. At that point, it was the only remaining logical avenue for provision, so I flexed my hope muscles by sitting in the driveway.

And, while simultaneously disheartened by our current circumstances, I was overwhelmingly thankful for that moment. I was watching my tiny brown-eyed-beauty crawl excitedly around our driveway, charging toward pinecones and then proudly lifting them up to show me. She was fearless in adventuring through piles of pine needles to seek leaf treasures, which she would hand to me whenever she stopped by my lap for some more banana-snack. I was just enthralled with her. To think that I so vehemently questioned God's plan when she came my way is so crazy in retrospect. I can't imagine a life without those squishy cheeks, that sweet-but-stubborn spirit and those doe eyes.

So I'm trusting the God who made my heart to love Phoenix Ethel, because he's orchestrating our adoption the same way.

And, more than usual, I am thankful for the support and ministry of my amazing friends. Phone calls, game nights and hugs have been the hand of God to my heart this weekend.
One such friend offered a much-needed reminder in this (hopefully short) time of silence from God. Essentially, she reminded me that when God is silent, you just cling to the last thing He said.

He seems silent on our adoption now, so we cling to his last words. Silence doesn't mean He changed His mind ... it means that He already told us "Yes."

Can't wait to see how His "yes" plays out in our life!

Happy Faithful Day, Phoenix!

Yesterday was Phoenix's developmental birthday ... and what we have chosen to call her "Faithful Day."

God doesn't take remembrance lightly ... the word "remember" is thread so frequently throughout scripture that it seems vital to our spirituality. God established the Passover feast as a vehicle for remembrance, Joshua built an altar of twelve stones to remind generations of how God brought them
over the Jordan, Jesus instituted Communion to aid us in remembering his sacrifice, and Paul was constantly urging the church to remember what God had done and said.

The best part of our call to Remember? We remember God because he first remembered us. He has been faithful to his covenant with us, has engraved us on the palms of His hands, has delivered us from slavery, and remembered us on the cross.

Deuteronomy 6:10-12 warns, "When the Lord your God brings you into the land he swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, to give you—a land with large, flourishing cities you did not build, houses filled with all kinds of good things you did not provide, wells you did not dig, and vineyards and olive groves you did not plant—then when you eat and are satisfied,  be careful that you do not forget the Lord, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery."

We have chosen to be very intentional in remembering the ways that God has brought us in to our own little promised land.  One way we do this?

Set reminders in the center of our home! This is our mantle ... complete with the art piece Josh and I gave each other as a wedding present (Sundara Art), a picture from our wedding and our 'remember' jar. It holds trinkets that remind us of they way that God has built metaphorical cities, houses, wells and vineyards in our life. For example, we have a little house charm to remind us of God's providence in finding our house and Phoenix's NICU bill as a reminder of God's provision.
As our kids get older, not only will we make a habit of looking through these trinkets and speaking about what God has done, but they will get to contribute to the jar!

We want to make a big deal of celebrating the work of God in our family ... which brings me back around to Phoenix's faithful day.
I am so grateful for the unique ways that God is adding to our family -- especially because it means that each of our children will have a day to celebrate God's timing in their life! For Phoenix, it's her due date. We obviously expected a certain timeline and experience for her birth, but the Lord had something so different in store. We believe that her early days have set the trajectory for her life ... that she will forever stand in the victory of Christ, sustained by His power and set aflame for Him. And that is worth celebrating. For our next child, his/her faithful day will be the date the adoption is finalized, because we believe that his/her early days will set a trajectory as well!

So what will we practically do on these "faithful days?" Make our child feel special and celebrated, remember the work of God and proclaim big dreams for the future!

Yesterday, we celebrated as a family by mixing up our routine and going out to dinner.
First we stopped a sweet little bookstore in Decatur to get a little present for Phoenix:

Multicultural, indestructible book? Yes please!
 

After dinner, Phoenix got her very own piece of cake (which she almost finished by herself). We tried to take a picture with the cake, but sister couldn't wait ...

It was fun to eat out, explore and celebrate together!
How does your family "remember"?

12 Month Post

Ok, so obviously this is overdue. Our world was a little hectic during her birthday week, so it just didn't happen.

Without further ado, here are pictures of our birthday girl!

We celebrated her actual birthday with breakfast at IHOP (where our waitress, who adored Phoenix, gave her a tiny bowl of birthday-breakfast ice cream), followed by a trip to the hospital. We stopped in the NICU, where the nurses oooh'd and ahhh'd and reminisced about how tiny she used to be. The rest of the day was pretty normal and laid back -- Phoenix and I went to Gymboree, and then she hung out with Josh while I worked.

Gettin' after her ice cream

In the hospital lobby

Updates:
- We had her 1-year checkup this Friday, and she weighs at 23.5 lbs. She has gained just about 21 lbs this year ... no wonder we have gone through so many sizes of clothing! She is mostly wearing 18M things these days.
- Still no crawling. Our pediatrician isn't worried, so neither are we. She is pretty darn good at rolling wherever she wants to go, and she can even scootch around while sitting up. The nursery workers at 12Stone are so glad she isn't crawling ... they are totally in love with her, and love that she has stayed in their room for so long (since crawling is the criteria for moving up).
- She has two teeth on the bottom, and some serious fussiness (and swollen gums) lead us to believe she is going to get some top ones pretty soon.
- She is an eating champion ... even with just two teeth, she is pretty good at eating whatever I give her. Cheerios, blueberries, watermelon, tomato insides (that I squirt in her mouth), bread with hummus, avocado, baby puffs, and carrots are some of her favorites. We are slowly starting to decrease her formula intake, and introduce some water and milk.
- She is clapping.... though her form is a little sloppy. Since she is a baby, we let it slide. She is also just stating to get the hang of waving.
- She is pulling up on EVERYTHING. And she ALWAYS wants to be standing. Too bad her tiny little feet don't help her balance.
- Phoenix and Josh play a sweet little game where they smush their faces up against the pack n' play. It pretty much melts my heart to watch them together.
- She LOVES showers. I just set her on the floor on the tub while I shower sometimes, and she plays contentedly with her toys, occasionally looking straight up into the stream to smile at me. She's the best.
- She loves the sound of her own voice. I can't wait until I can understand her, because sister sure has a lot to say.
- She is still a people-lover. Though she has a little bit of separation anxiety, she is easily diverted and loves to hang with anyone who will give her attention. She even seems to think other babies are fascinating...

That's all I got. She's just cool ... that's all I know.

Ode to Our Village

Phoenix turned one just over a week ago. Crazy.
A year ago, we didn't know if she would ever see her birthday.
But, thanks to the kindness of God and the extravagant love of His people, she made it. Big, beautiful and happy.

It is not lost on me that all three of us only survived because of the massive support from the people around us. There is nothing that I can do to repay you all ... all I can do is say thank you.

Thank you for praying. For wearing out your knees on behalf of our tiny girl and our broken hearts. Thank you for the tears shed in intercession, and (to many of you) for vocalizing your prayers to us with such faith.
Thank you for all the wonderful gifts that you gave to Josh and I while we were in the hospital. Sweat pants, snacks, Starbucks, cotton candy ice cream, coloring books, clean clothes, meals for my man, chocolate, flowers ... shoot, some of everything. We were so well cared for in those couple days.
Thank you for rushing to support us -- whether that meant a hospital visit, a card, or a Facebook message, it was a treasure to know how much you all cared. 
Thank you for all the ways that you helped us financially -- gas and restaurant cards, cash, gifts, etc. Josh and I didn't worry about money once during her hospital stay, which blows my mind in retrospect. Thank you for freeing up our mental/emotional energy so we could worry about the one thing that mattered.
Thank you for putting us on a mat (metaphorically, of course), and carrying us to Jesus. So much of my faith during those days was borrowed -- thank you for sharing.
Thank you for covering the shifts that I missed during my hospital stay and recovery, and for picking up my slack at work when my mind was in the NICU.
Thank you for the hugs ... all of them.
Thank you for the beautiful pictures - few things have been so profoundly dear to me.
Thank you for giving us space when we needed it.
Thank you for letting our circumstances commandeer our relationships for a while. I am so sorry for missed birthdays, milestones and thank-you cards. We were probably very self-centered in conversation, and thank you for giving us so much love and grace for that.
Thank you for cleaning our house. No really ... THANK YOU.
Thank you for letting us process our pain in our time/way.
Thank you for hauling your pregnant self (and three children) to the hospital so that I could see my fragile bird for a bit. For everyone who drove me around in the early days, thank you!
Thank you for helping us to laugh. We treasure the weightless moments, when you freed us from the pain with a smile.
Thank you for the comments on my blog posts. For whatever reason, they meant SO much to me.
Thank you for enduring with us. It was a long journey, and the support never let up.
Thank you for making the "stuck-by-the-oxygen-tank" days bearable with meals, visits, and Netflix suggestions.
Thank you for loving my girl so well. Everyone who saw her, touched her or held her in those first months did so with marked tenderness. I am tearing up just thinking about it ...
A special thank you to the staff at the hospital (though I am sure they will never read this). You fought for my sweet baby's life, loved her when we couldn't be there, and put up with my all my crazy. You deserve an award.
And thank you for all the unmentioned gifts of love you gave to us. 

They say it takes a village to raise a child ... and for us, it took a village just to make it one year. Whether you know it or not, you were the kindness of God revealed to us. We are forever grateful.

First Time in the Pool!

Little miss had her first swim on Sunday ... and loved it (eventually)!

Josh and I were late to this particular pool party, because we were attending the membership class at 12Stone. That's right ... we are now official, card-carrying community members!

We showed up and found our babe napping with Abigail:

Side note -- I have amazing friends. They not only love me well, but love my girl like crazy. Turns out that is now the best way to my heart ... being kind to my man or my lady will win me over in an instant.

When she woke up, I put her swimsuit on and snapped a picture:

Then we headed for the pool! Here is a video of our bathing beauty getting her first taste of the water:



We kept at it, and a few minutes later, sister decided that she loves to swim.



When we got out to eat, Daddy "hugged her dry" (as he says), and she spent the rest of the evening chilling in her baby tent.

It is so fun to watch her experience things for the first time! Hanging with her makes it impossible not to relish simple joys.

PS -- I hope you really appreciated those videos. Josh and I spent WAY too much time trying to get those embedded into this post. And, early today, I freaked out (tears and all) when I thought I had deleted the one of her first dip. Motherhood has made me crazy ...

March for Babies

This Saturday was the March for Babies, a fundraising walk hosted by March of Dimes.

It was amazing.
I couldn't help but get involved in raising funds for an organization that champions the cause of tiny preemies like mine, but it ended up being a huge blessing to me.

A few minutes before the walk started, Josh and I were sitting on the sidewalk in the shade while Phoenix napped in her stroller. A beautiful little girl with curly blond hair walked up to the stroller, curious to see the baby inside. Her dad gently nudged her away, but I assured him that she was welcome to peek at my girl. I asked if this little beauty had been premature, and he said "Yes. She and her twin were born at 29 weeks."
"Mine was a preemie too! She was 28 weeks ..."
It was amazing how quickly you connect with someone on a heart level with that kind of a shared experience. We only chatted for 2 or 3 minutes, mostly about how chunky Phoenix is and how desperately they fight to get their 2-year-old twins to gain weight. But, to me, there was this depth to the conversation that an onlooker wouldn't see ... an undercurrent of "you understand."
A couple of other family members wandered over to admire my girl, and one remarked on how she is a miracle. Hundreds of people have called her that before, but he said it differently. The word, miracle, was colored with experience -- a man who had witnessed the divine before was seeing it again in our girl.

There are few times in my life that my heart has felt so full.
It was amazing to see the way that friends and families rallied to support the babies they love so dearly. There were groupings everywhere of people wearing matching t-shirts boasting pictures of little babies in isolettes, fighting for life. And it was heartbreaking to see the number of shirts that said "Walking in memory of ..."
Sometimes I forget that not every mommy goes home with her preemie. I was in tears as the walk began, feeling infinitely blessed to be pushing a stroller with a healthy baby, surrounded by people who understand our fight and triumph.

 It was a beautiful day to be walking with my two loves, and Josh made it extra fun by weaving in and out of all the slow walkers. We walked the 4 miles in under 40 minutes ... not too shabby.

Here are some more pictures from the day:

You guessed it ... she is wearing my t-shirt as pants.

Thank you so much to the grandparents, the Silvas, Joel & Sandra, and the O'Mara's for donating!
This will definitely be an annual event for our little family!

Favorite Baby Products

Seeing as I only have one child, I definitely do not consider myself an expert on anything related to babies. Nor am I familiar with a lot of the baby products on the market. Being a new mom is hard these days ... there are ten millions products for your infant, all endorsed as "must-haves."
And I guess there are indeed some "must-haves." Like a crib. Or a boppy pillow. Or diapers.
But here are some of the more obscure things that we have loved, and that have worked for Phoenix (in no particular order).

Itzbeen Baby Care Timer

I remember seeing this at Babies R' Us while registering, and thought it would be kind of cool to have. After Phoenix had been home for merely a week, Josh and I realized we couldn't ever remember what time we had last fed Phoenix (new parent sleep-deprivation was to blame). That is why this little gadget is so perfect ... you just push a button when you change a diaper or feed the baby, and it starts a timer. That way, when you wake up in the middle of the night, you can check to see how long it's been since the baby ate/pooped/whatevered. You can even have it "alarm"after a certain amount of time, which was great for us, since we would have to wake Phoenix up to eat. And it even helps you remember which side you last breastfed on. Loved it!

Aden + Anais Swaddle Blankets

  

 Cute little muslin swaddle blankets that are perfect for ... everything. Laying on the floor for tummy time, wrapping up a nap-thrasher, using as a light blanket, etc.






Cloud B Sleep Sheep

This sweet little stuffed animal creates gentle background noise, with 4 different sounds to choose from. Phoenix went to sleep listening to waves for the first several months at home -- not only did it help lull her to sleep, but it became part of the routine that would signal it was bedtime. This was especially great for her because she was used to all the NICU noise, so total silence was almost unsettling to her.






Tommee Tippee Bottles and Microwave Sterilizer 

We have LOVED these bottles. To be honest, we haven't really tried anything else, so I can't claim these are necessarily better than any other bottles on the market. I initially choose them because they are supposed to make switching between bottle and breast easier.  But we love them because: (1) the wide mouth makes cleaning easier, and adding formula much less messy (2) they have held up incredibly well after 8 months of constant use (3) we could use them with lids for breast milk storage while I was pumping, and (4) the shape is easy for us -- and now Phoenix -- to hold. I am a HUGE fan of the microwave sterilizer as well. When Phoenix first came home, it was really important that her bottles were sterilized, and this product made it SO easy. We still use it, even though it is not as necessary, just to make sure the bottles stay really clean.

Tommee Tippee Milk Feeding Bibs

Whoever thought of these is BRILLIANT! Baby necks rolls are notorious for collecting all kinds of gross things, especially if they are messy eaters. These bibs keep milk/formula from getting in those hard-to-reach places with an enlarged, absorbent collar. No more neck rashes!








 innobaby Packin' SMART

  A thoughtful friend gave me this wonderful product at my baby shower, and I LOVE it! I have used it primarily as a formula dispenser, but I am sure it will hold Cheerios and other little snacks in the near future. I pre-measure a serving of dry formula into each compartment, snap it all together, and keep it in the diaper bag for easing on-the-go eating. It locks tightly together, so I don't have to worry about a giant mess in my bag. The best part? Each inner compartment has a funnel lid, so it's not messy to get formula into a bottle. 




Itzy Ritzy Peek-a-Boo Pod

It will never cease to blow my mind how babies break down social norms. Would a stranger walk up and start stroking my hand? No. But Phoenix's hand? Yes. This awesome (and cute) carseat cover keeps strangers at bay, and keeps it dark and quiet if Phoenix is sleeping. I pretty much want to own everything that Itzy Ritzy makes.





Fisher-Price Rock n' Play Sleeper

 Best. Thing. Ever. Phoenix was in our room for the first several months, and we never owned a bassinet. She slept and hung out in this awesome rocker, which was so easy to move from room to room. The incline was awesome for her reflux, and the inside cover is machine washable (a must, in my book). She still likes this thing ... we keep in our bathroom now, and she will just hang out while I take a shower and get ready in the morning. I HIGHLY recommend this for moms-to-be ... it's the perfect little bed for the pre-crib days.




Planet Wise Wet Bag

 I mostly use wet bags for cloth diapering on-the-go, but I would still recommend owning one or two of these glorious inventions. You put wet stuff in it (ie. nasty clothes, used bibs, swimsuits, etc) and it keeps the rest of your diaper bag clean and dry. Then you just throw it in the wash. No plastic bag waste!







Charlie's Soap

 No need for baby soap if you use this stuff for all your washing (like we do). Non-toxic, environmentally friendly, economical, biodegradable, and doesn't leave residue on your clothes (like traditional detergent). And it is also great for cloth diapering!









Other products we have and endorse:

• Safety 1st onBoard35 Air Car Seat -- We got this as part of a travel system (with an accompanying stroller), and we LOVE it! It still looks good as new, and it incredibly easy to use. And it fits preemies (we would know) up to a 35lbs, which is a substantial range.
• Graco DuoDiner High Chair -- Machine washable seat pad, dishwasher safe tray and converts to a booster seat.
• Baby Einstein Neptune Ocean Adventure Gym -- if for no other reason, it's been great because of all the toys attached. But Phoenix stills loves laying on her back and reaching up for toys. 
• Fisher Price Laugh and Learn Jumperoo 
• OXO Tot Feeding Spoons -- Silicone tip, long handles, and they work like a spatula (both in the jar and on the baby's face).
• Penguin Cool-Mist Humidifier
• Moby Wrap

Favorite Toys:

• Fisher-Price Soothe and Glow Seahorse  
• Melissa and Doug Picnic Basket 
• Lamaze Tug and Play Activity Knot
• Fisher-Price Laugh and Learn Learning Puppy
• Taggies Blanket

Side note -- I am not an Amazomibe. I only included the Amazon links because I could find all the product links in one place.

Whew.

What are your favorite baby products? Why?