Thankful

Josh and I waited until Friday morning to call our social worker to cancel our home visit - we were giving God every last minute to miraculously provide the money for us.

But by Thursday afternoon, I was getting the feeling that maybe things wouldn't end up going according to plan. Trying to fight my glass-half-empty tendencies, I sat outside with Phoenix waiting for the mail. At that point, it was the only remaining logical avenue for provision, so I flexed my hope muscles by sitting in the driveway.

And, while simultaneously disheartened by our current circumstances, I was overwhelmingly thankful for that moment. I was watching my tiny brown-eyed-beauty crawl excitedly around our driveway, charging toward pinecones and then proudly lifting them up to show me. She was fearless in adventuring through piles of pine needles to seek leaf treasures, which she would hand to me whenever she stopped by my lap for some more banana-snack. I was just enthralled with her. To think that I so vehemently questioned God's plan when she came my way is so crazy in retrospect. I can't imagine a life without those squishy cheeks, that sweet-but-stubborn spirit and those doe eyes.

So I'm trusting the God who made my heart to love Phoenix Ethel, because he's orchestrating our adoption the same way.

And, more than usual, I am thankful for the support and ministry of my amazing friends. Phone calls, game nights and hugs have been the hand of God to my heart this weekend.
One such friend offered a much-needed reminder in this (hopefully short) time of silence from God. Essentially, she reminded me that when God is silent, you just cling to the last thing He said.

He seems silent on our adoption now, so we cling to his last words. Silence doesn't mean He changed His mind ... it means that He already told us "Yes."

Can't wait to see how His "yes" plays out in our life!