To My Coworkers

I have an eavesdropping problem.

In all fairness, it's almost impossible NOT to eavesdrop in the break room at work.
[For those of you who don't know, I work at the local bookstore a few hours a week. Extra cash + adult conversations + a reason to wear real clothes = sanity.]

On Saturday, I was actively trying NOT to eavesdrop. I had only a thirty minute respite from the chaos of weekend retail work, which included a children's choir loudly performing in the middle of the store, so I wanted to sit in peace and read my book. Two of my coworkers struck up a conversation, though, and I was unfortunately positioned in-between them.

It started as a general conversation about social media - which platforms they use, how often they log on, who they like to keep up with.
And then the conversation turned to the type of Facebook friends that annoy them the most.
It went something like this:
"Ugh, I have so many friend who are religious now. They used to drink and cuss with me, but now their status is always something like, 'Hello Tuesday! I'm so blessed!' or "So thankful for this Monday!'"
"I know. And I'm over here like, 'My life is a shit sandwich!'"
They laughed, and then kept joking about all the things that are inevitably going wrong in their lives.

I didn't say anything.
But here is what I wish I'd have said:

"Y'all ... I can't handle those Facebook friends either. I get where they are coming from - they are working hard to cultivate gratitude, a legitimate discipline. But when all they offer to the world is their mustered-up goodness, it can be offputting. That's "religion" all right ... sickeningly whitewashed.

Let me tell you something. I believe in God, but you know what? Sometimes my life is a shit sandwich too. My cars break down too (ALL. THE. TIME). I get burned by friends and family too. I experience paralyzing loss too. My house falls apart too. My kids can be little hellions too. Customers make me want to simultaneously cry and punch a window too. I feel lonely too. My marriage can be a hot mess too.

Here's the only difference between you and me: while you are fighting to subsist off the shit sandwich that you're often served, I'm over here feasting on the Bread of life.
Turns out, shit isn't satiating or substantial, and I'm thankful for an alternative source of sustenance. Following Christ does not insulate you from painful circumstances - in fact, it often ushers in suffering. It also doesn't make those circumstances perfectly easy to swallow.
But I sit at the Table with Christ. God intimately knows my hardships (large and small), many of which are my own making. God knows not just my circumstances, but the (very) shitty condition of my heart. And through it all, through my suffering and refining, I am deeply loved. I am valued, cared for, fought for, sung over, befriended and wholly known.

If you want to go get a margarita and cuss up a storm, give me a call. I'm your girl. We can talk (and laugh) about all the things that are hard to bear in this life. And I hope you'll give me the chance to tell you how perfectly you are loved."