Well, it looks like things are slowing down for us on the adoption front.
We called this morning to cancel our home visit because we don't have the money to pay for it. Even close.
The bad news? There are some broken hearts in the Cash house this morning.
Adoption is the hardest thing I've ever done ... especially right now.
This morning I said to Josh, "Maybe I should just get pregnant." WHAT!? That's how you know this is wrecking me.
The good news? All the paperwork is done and our house is the cleanest it's been since we moved in. If anyone wants to come stay with us, we would be incredible hosts right now!
Honestly, it feels like we called down fire from heaven and were left standing in front of a waterlogged altar. We still believe that God is capable, but we're just trying to figure out what this means for us going forward.
PLEASE pray for clarity on next steps. We feel like God is silent in the process right now, but we are so desperate to hear Him speak.
We know that there will definitely be a time for asking for help -- and we are so thankful that people in our life are eager and willing. But the bulk of our need comes AFTER the homevisit, and hopefully we will qualify for a non-profit that can make people's donations tax-deductible. So I think we are just going to have to delay the visit until we can save up the money.
Things I am repeating to myself this morning:
- "You are too wise to ever make a mistake, too loving to ever do anything
unkind."
- Isaiah 49:4 "But I said, 'I have labored in vain; I have spent my strength for nothing at all. Yet what is due me is in the Lord’s hand,and my reward is with my God.'"
- I would rather be a fool in faith than never see the miraculous hand of God.
We are trusting that God is kind and good even when when He answers differently than we planned.
Just keep praying for us ... for diligence in saving, for discernment in hearing from the Lord, for strength to stand against lies and (most of all) for comfort.
won't stop learning
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You guys may have already considered this and decided it's not for you, so just ignore this if so, but have y'all ever thought about adopting through foster care?
ReplyDeleteYup! I would be thrilled to serve as a foster parent someday, but Josh isn't totally sold on the idea. That, and we want Phoenix to grow up with at least one sibling, and the logistics of that are more complicated with potentially temporary foster placements.
ReplyDeleteYeah, it's definitely not for the faint of heart! I got to interview one of our Buckner foster-to-adopt families this week who will be adopting their three foster children on National Adoption Day, and they went through two prior placements where the kids returned to their biological families. It was heart-wrenching for them, but they kind of see it as their ministry.
ReplyDeleteIt was so neat to talk with them. When their 2 and 3-year-old boys first came to the family, they were distant, didn't really make eye contact, didn't have any personality. When I met them, they were laughing, running, playing, totally full of life. It's amazing, the impact it has on a child's life. I can totally see you as a foster parent someday!