Sustenance for the Journey

Illustration by Jago

I am a weary foster momma.
I think some of that weariness is universal to parenthood, and we are caring for four very small kiddos at one time. Having stair-step siblings in this particular age bracket is an insane undertaking.
But adding two foster kids to our team didn't just mean two more small kids ... the slew of fostering logistics is overwhelming.
For example, our fostering schedule this week involves:
- Monday: a potential birthmom visit, which was up in the air until the last minute
- Today: a speech evaluation at the local school
- Wednesday: a home visit from our private agency
- Thursday: a home visit from CPS
- Friday: play therapy and a home visit from the girls' attorney
Throw in visits from CASA, speech therapy, occupational therapy, preschool and all the paperwork, and it becomes a full-time job.
And, not only does fostering dominate our schedule, but it also dominates my thought-life.
"Am I getting them the interventions they need?"
"Where is their mom? Should I start calling hospitals?"
"How much should I push for their best, and how much should I permit their worst?"
"How do I keep them healthy without constant food battles?"
"How can I help heal them when there is so much unknown?"
"Is this four-year-old behavior, or is this trauma behavior?"
"What is our life going to look like in three months?"

To be honest, I feel like I'm drowning -- I was a confident swimmer until I decided to land myself in the middle of a typhoon. And all arenas of my life are sinking too. I'm less available to my forever kiddos, I'm less prepared as a home school mom, I'm less stable as a wife (ha!), I'm less committed in my ministries, I'm less diligent in other responsibilities, I'm less present in my friendships and I have less bandwidth to love/serve outside our home.

I want to quit.
But God won't let me quit.

As much as I want to be frustrated at God for keeping me in a place that feels so hard and thankless and desperate, God keeps being near and kind.

I've been reading The Chronicles of Narnia out loud to Phoenix at night. A month ago, when we were still in 'The Magician's Nephew,' I could barely finish reading because my eyes and voice were brimming with tears. Digory, the main character, is standing before Aslan, the creator and leader of Narnia. A series of unwise mistakes have caused Digory to bring with him a person of great evil into the fledgling world. Aslan is giving Digory a task to help save/protect the land, but Digory is distracted with worry about his mother, who is dying at home.

"'But please, please -- won't you -- can't you give me something that will cure Mother?' Up till then he had been looking at the Lion's great feet and the huge claws upon them; now, in his despair, he looked up at its face. What he saw surprised him as much as anything in his whole life. For the tawny face was bent down near his own and (wonder of wonders) great shining tears stood in the Lion's eyes. They were such big, bright tears compared with Digory's own that for a moment he felt as if the Lion must really be sorrier about his Mother than he was himself."

Aslan doesn't instantly heal Digory's mother, nor does he release him from the task at hand. Digory is expected to carry his own pain forward into obedience. But Aslan is fully present with him in his pain. While our two girlies surely carry the greatest sadness in this season, I have my own legitimate grief. But (wonder of wonders) my roaring lion of a God is bent near to me, shedding tears on my behalf.

Over breakfast, we read a Bible story to our kiddos, and then a page from Thoughts to Make Your Heart Sing. The other morning, I read this (which references the illustration above):

"God's Spirit is called the 'Comforter.' Does it make you think of a nice comfy quilt - all cozy and warm? Oh dear.

In the Bayeux tapestry of 1066, there's a knight on a horse and the caption reads: 'Bishop Odo comforts his troops.'Is Bishop Odo giving them nice fluffy quilts? No. Look! He's prodding them from behind with a stick! NOT comfy.

But Odo is spurring them on, encouraging them, urging them to keep going and not give up. Because comfort in the Bible doesn't mean 'to make comfy.' It means 'to send help.'

When we want to give up, when we are afraid, God sends his spirit - the Comforter - to make us strong, to give us courage, to lift us up."

My latent desires for a predictable, comfortable life are being beaten out of me by the fostering process. God doesn't comfort me with retreat or rest, no matter how much I beg for relief. Instead, God is asking me to lean into the pain, to put aside self-preservation, to trust God with my family and to keep pushing Kingdom lines forward.

I have the wine of divine tears and the bread of divine encouragement as sustenance for the journey. Those traveling mercies are yours too, whether you happen to be on the same road or have your own path of exhausting obedience.

Orlando

When I was pregnant with Phoenix, Josh and I watched all the available seasons of Dexter with amazing speed - to say we binged is really an understatement. One night, after a marathon of episodes from season four (the Trinity season, for fellow fans), I got in the shower feeling really unsettled. I have a high threshold for fictional blood/guts/crime (not really sure what this means about me), but I was deeply shaken by the particular form of evil personified by John Lithgow's character 'Arthur Mitchell.' As water fell from my downcast eyes onto my swollen belly, it occurred to me for the first time that we would be introducing our child to a world wrought with evil and destruction. Why would we bring a child into a world like this? A world where evil seems to have free reign, where one is always at risk of bearing the soul-deep consequences of someone else's depravity? How could we possibly protect a child from such present, subversive, expansive evil?

Obviously, it was a little late to ask such an important question. Like it or not, our growing child already had traction in this world, and the question changed from "Why would we raise a child in this world?" to "How will we raise a child in this world?" 

Sunday, upon hearing the news of what happened in Orlando, I was freshly disturbed by the realities of this world. And this evil was not fictional - it was real in the most profound sense of the word. 

Phoenix, now five, is at such an amazing age -- the whole natural world feels like a gift that I get to help her unwrap. She notices all the variations in the clouds, she instantly internalizes the names and habitats of ocean creatures, she overturns rocks to see what she might discover underneath. But those tangible expressions of Glory that she's constantly encountering are only a small portion of the world she will continue to explore. This week, I weep that giving her the world means she will inevitably be hit over the head with pain and grief and tragedy and unspeakable evil. 

Forty-nine mommas lost their babies this week. I wish more than anything that there’s a way I could ease their suffering, ascribe meaning to their loss, or offer small graces like a hug or a meal. But I can’t. There's nothing that can undo or reverse this horror.

What I can do is keep answering “How will we raise a child in this world?” with a resounding commitment to empathy. I cannot bring back lost lives, but I can fight for character in the lives of the two small people in my home. They are my sphere of influence for this season, and I can affect the trajectory of our world by the way I teach them about loving others. It is no easy or small thing to really understand and internalize the experiences of another human being, to see them with your whole attention and value them despite glaring ideological differences. It is no easy thing to set aside agendas, to find the smallest square of common ground and to contruct a relationship built first on love. It is no small thing to intentionally change words, phrases, behaviors and habits for the sake of honoring someone else’s experience. 

None of this comes naturally to me, so thankfully I have access to the greatest example of empathy in the Incarnation. Christ (quite literally) took on the form of those he meant to serve and love, experiencing the spectrum of our temptations, our hardships, our pain and our joy. Setting aside his glory, Jesus humbly walked among us, getting his hands dirty on the front lines of love. With no concern for social norms and no tolerance for religious spectacles, Jesus locked eyes with the misunderstood, the ostracized and the forgotten.

I am praying that my children are leaders in a generation marked by empathy. I cannot gift them a hate-free world, but I can foster the bravery and kindness that will change the tide. 

To the LGBT community - I weep as you weep. 

To the families and friends who lost someone they love - I weep as you weep.

And to the rest of us - let’s fight first in our own hearts and then in the world for the empathy that can prevent such senseless acts of violence.

Still Sanctuary

"What if on Christmas Eve people came and sat in the dim pews, and someone stood up and said, "Something happened here while we were all out at the malls, while we were baking cookies and fretting about whether we bought our brother-in-law the right gift: Christ was born. God is here."? We wouldn't need the glorious choruses and the harp and the bell choir and the organ. We wouldn't need the tree strung with lights. We wouldn't have to deny that painful dissonance between the promise and hope of Christmas and a world wracked with sin and evil. ... And no one would have to preach sermons to work up our belief.

All of that would seem gaudy and shallow in comparison to the sanctity of that still sanctuary. And we, hushed and awed by something greater and wiser and kinder than we, would kneel of one accord in the stillness." - Loretta Ross-Gotta 

______________________________________________________________________

I read this passage in my advent book a few days ago, and its been haunting me ever since. For the last few months I've been musing about how to create a magical Christmas season for my children, and all that mental energy afforded some carefully laid plans. Work, miscommunications, circumstances and forgetfulness have already laid waste to several of those well-intentioned plans. I want this time of year to be a treasure for my children - not because of treasures they accumulate, but because of the treasured Christ-child given to them and for them. And because the Incarnation declared with finality that families are a preferred weapon of God in the war for this world, I want our little family to function out of that love and power.

But the advent candles still haven't been lit. We didn't go on the hayride at Santa's Wonderland. St. Nicholas' Feast Day went totally uncelebrated. I still haven't gotten a picture of them in their matching Christmas pajamas. The gingerbread house remains a daunting project. I know we still have a couple weeks, and I still want to prioritize the fun and the traditions and the togetherness and the plans.

But the passage above really right-sized my heart. My expectations shouldn't settle on experiences that I can craft, because Christ was born. God is here. If that old-and-deep magic fills my soul during Advent, it will naturally overflow into the hearts of my children. A heart in awe of holiness brings deeper and fuller joy to that table than a calendar full of activities. 

As always, I'm thankful that God shuts down everything I muster up. May you also be "hushed and awed by something greater and kinder and wiser" in the remaining Advent days.

Hope

It's been an interesting couple of weeks on the adoption front.

Long story short, we found out (in mid-March) that there was a birth mother who had narrowed down her choices to three families, and we were included. Then she narrowed it down to two, and we were still in the running. We held our breath for two weeks while she made a decision, and found out Monday afternoon that she chose the other family.

Theoretically, it should have been just like every other "no." But it wasn't. I won't elaborate on all the circumstances, but we had really high hopes. And it was unbearably hard to be out on a limb for two and a half weeks. Don't get me wrong ... I cannot even fathom how hard her decision was, especially with some complicated factors in play. She is a hero, and that doesn't change because she chose the other family.

But this was the first "no" that was just really hard to hear.

Monday night, after putting Phoenix to bed, I ended up before the Lord, desperate to hear from Him.
The last several months, He has been prompting me to pursue hope during this process. It would be easy for me to have tunnel vision, to focus on the parenting task at hand, and to protect my heart from getting burned along the way. But I feel like God has been asking me to lean into the emotion of this season, and to actively hope. So I've been reading books about hope, seeking hope in scripture and practicing hope with every email about a birth mother. And I spent two and half weeks hoping for that baby girl.
So there I was, sitting in the tub, feeling a little burned by hope. I wasn't devasted, just emotionally exhausted. I am so thankful that God welcomed my frustration with grace, and also with a healthy dose of truth.

The truth? My ultimate hope is in God. And my hope during this process is the promise of our child. So when we hear "no," hope doesn't die. It grows. Every day that passes puts me one day closer to meeting my tiniest love.

As you pray for us, please pray for an extra helping of hope. And pray that we don't have to hope for too much longer (wink wink)!

Visual Lethargy

I have been reading the book "Dangerous Calling" (Paul David Tripp) for a project, and keep finding myself with a lot of things to say. This book has been quite the conundrum for me. I don't actually enjoy reading it -- largely because of the author's writing style, but also because the structure isn't intuitive and the purely diagnostic tone can be extremely frustrating. It has, however, prompted a good deal of self-reflection. Even in moments of severe disagreement with the author, I find myself forced to re-examine my motivations and my posture before God.
I can't say conclusively whether I recommend it or not ... in part because I haven't finished it, and also because my actual analysis gets muddled in my strong reactions (both positive and negative) to the content. Hopefully I can decide at some point.

I will spare you the majority of my thoughts ... most of them are either wildly personal or tinged with serious exasperation.
Here is the one tidbit I will share, starting with a passage from the book.

"Artists talk of the the dynamic of visual lethargy, which means that the more you see something, the less you actually see it. On that drive to work the first day, you are conscious of all the sights and sounds. You notice that beautiful grove of ancient trees and that cool modern duplex on the corner. But by your twentieth trip, you've quit noticing, and you're wishing the traffic would move faster so you could get to work, for Pete's sake! Something has happened to you that seems inevitable but is not good. You have quit seeing, and in you failure to see, you have quit being moved and thankful. The beauty that once attracted you is still there to see, buy you don't see it, and you cannot celebrate what you fail to see."

My gut reaction?
"This concept is totally foreign to me as a mother."

Not that every moment of every day I go about glorying in the wonder of my child ... at all. Sometimes all I see in her is a mess, or a tantrum, or a timer counting down the minutes until she goes to bed.
But not a day goes by where I don't have at least one awe-moment. Where I really see her ... her sweet soul, her feisty spirit, her beautiful person. And this is not something I have to muster up, but rather a spontaneous response to being near to her.

[Brief interlude for pictures of aforementioned baby ... pictures that I can't stop looking at. And sending to people. And making Josh look at.]

This one is a teaser from our family picture session with Kevin Scheidt

Ok, so back to what I was saying.

So I started to wonder ... why would I have visual lethargy with some things (like my drive to work), but not with my daughter or husband?

It's because they are dynamic. Two weeks ago, Phoenix would just sit and watch me play patty cake. Now she joins in clapping. Two weeks ago, Josh would have gagged at the idea of eating tofu. But he has eaten it twice this week and LIKED IT (what!?).
I keep falling in love with Josh and Phoenix every day because I have never discovered the depths of who they are. Even if I were close, they are both constantly changing. Real loving means braving uncharted territory everyday, which (though sometimes scary or intimidating) always involves miraculous treasures. No day passes without at least a millisecond of awe.

I have always been drawn to the unchanging character of God. He is faithful, and that truth gives me strength to cling to Him even when my world seems to spin out of control.

But today, I am thankful also for the dynamic spirit of God. I am thankful that it is impossible to have visual lethargy when one's spiritual eyes are fixed on Christ. I am thrilled anew that I have only a grain of knowledge about God, and that He will spend the rest of eternity surprising me. I am a captive audience, waiting with bated breath to see what He reveals next.
And I am humbled that my story of grace is dynamic as well - that forgiveness is a fresh offering every moment, and that my renewal blooms with a simple prayer.

Still Deciding

I'm still trying to decide how I feel about the future of my blogging endeavors. If I am going to do it, then I want to give it the time, effort, planning and vision that goes into any meaningful media. And I haven't quite nailed down whether it is worth it. Or if I even have anything unique to contribute to the blogging community. Hmm ... who knows.

BUT --
All of this reflection has made me think a lot about what blogs/blogging has meant to me, and I found myself surprisingly thankful. When it comes to forms of expression and media, I am admittedly biased towards books. God himself is on my side ... when he wanted to communicate truth to his people, we got a book (the Bible, in case anyone was confused). And I still love books ... ardently. But blogs have found a place in my life, and, interestingly, in my heart.

Here's why.
1. Because, when I found out that I was very unexpectedly pregnant, I hated the idea of becoming a mom. Obviously, this was something that I would have to get over. My mommyhood-hating remedy? Mom blogs. There was one particular blogger that made motherhood sound like the greatest adventure, and it gave me just an inkling of hope that my life wasn't ruined. And the more blogs I read, the more I believed that maybe being a mother could end up being one of the great joys of my life. And blogs continue to inspire my parenting, to imbue me with creativity and to encourage me in exhaustion. I often find myself thinking "you too?" while reading mommy blogs ... and that solidarity (even with people I've never met) has been indescribably life-giving.
2. Since our budget requires eating at home most nights, I have had to start cooking/meal planning. I don't know how anyone did this before the Internet, but blogs are the reason that we survive on home-cooked meals. When we first got married, Josh ate a lot of tacos and I ate a lot of frozen Trader Joe's entrees. Enter aforementioned baby (and all her expenses) ... now we eat so well at home! We eat a minimally-processed, mostly organic diet -- with A LOT of variety. If eating at home meant casseroles every night, we would've given up months ago. But blogs have given us so many wonderful meals! And I have found online cohorts for my baking addiction; though not good for the budget, baking is always so fun for me!
3. Because blogging about Phoenix's birth/NICU stay was not only informative for all the wonderful people who were praying for us, but it was hugely therapeutic for me. It gave me a recurring reason to sort through my experiences and feelings, and it gave me a taste of leading through personal hardship.
4. Because it is a fun window into other people's worlds! Granted, it is largely the good stuff -  in other words, fashion bloggers don't take pictures in their jammies. Even though it is edited, I love to see the creativity, self-expression, intentionality, devotion and love that exist in the lives of other people. Maybe that makes me a creeper ... or maybe just a people-appreciator.
5. Reading blogs inevitably leads me to wonderful little corners of the internet where I learn new things. I come out of such corners with a new favorite quote or artist, a new word or paradigm, a new craft or new style strategy (anyone else notice that the front-tuck is making a comeback?), a tattoo idea or verse to memorize. And the summation of those little thought-trinkets ends up being a meaningful contribution to my life.

So no matter what decision lies on the horizon for my personal blog, I will always be thankful for blogging!

Long Overdue Update

Sorry for the absence.
Candidly, I am trying to figure out what place blogging has in my life, if any. If it is just for the grandparents to stalk Phoenix, then I'm not sure it's worth it. Up to this point, my processing has left me silent. But I have had so many people (lovingly) ask us about what's going on with the adoption, that I want to update the masses.

Here is what has happened since I last blogged:

8/31 - Joint Interview
This was the official beginning of our homestudy process! It wasn't actually an interview at all ... our awesome social worker just walked us through the 70 page homestudy packet, making sure we understood it all. That was pretty much it.

9/8 - CPR Class
Shout out to my awesome sister who watched Phoenix for several hours while Josh and I went to this class. The lady who taught it was the best part ... otherwise, it was pretty standard.

9/13 - Individual Interviews
For these interviews, Josh and I had to each do a "self-study." Translation: we each answered several pages of questions about our personality, upbringing, family dynamic, parenting, schooling, walk with Christ, friendships, marriage, sexual relationship, goals and our own parenting philosophy. It was EXHAUSTING. I complained my way through the 15 pages of answers. That's right ... our poor social worker read around 30 pages about our lives BEFORE our interviews. Even though I hated it, it forced me to thoroughly think through how I was parented, what I want to build into my children, and how I plan to partner with Christ (and Josh) in molding their hearts.
[Shameless pride: Our social worker told me that I had some of the best answers to the parenting section that she'd ever heard. Boom]
We "passed," although the purpose was more for our social worker to know us well enough to write our homestudy document.

9/25 - Waiting Family Dinner
Although we aren't technically "waiting" until our homestudy is complete, we were invited to this potluck that included both international and domestic adoptions. The topic? "Tools of the Trade for Interracial/Intercultural Adoption." It was really interesting ... mostly because it clarified arenas of our life where we can be more intentional about diversity. She also gave suggestions of books/toys that normalize diversity ... so I know what we will be introducing into Phoenix's toy/book box in the coming months.

What's happing now ...
We are wading through paperwork hell. Ink and live-scan fingerprints, 911 records, septic tank inspections, financial documentation, blah, blah, blah. I understand cognitively why this is all important ... a birthmom shouldn't have to worry about the history/character of potentional adoptive parents. But it's obnoxius because I know they aren't going to find anything sketchy in my past ... no crimes, no domestic disturbances, just one or two late payments.
We need SO MUCH PRAYER for all this paperwork. Pray for diligence in completing tasks and favor in the processing (so that our fingerprints don't sit on someone's desk for weeks).

10/26 - Home Visit
This is the day that our social worker will come to make sure our house is clean, safe, and child-appropriate. She will also collect all our paperwork and a very large check.
One last large prayer request: when she comes to our home, she will talk through our level of "openness." Between now and then, Josh and I need to decide what we are willing to accept when it comes to race, birthparent medical/emotional history, and potential birth complications/defects. We want to honor God in the process, and make decisions that our right for our family.

Whew. Expect to hear from us on the 26th or 27th!

Happy Faithful Day, Phoenix!

Yesterday was Phoenix's developmental birthday ... and what we have chosen to call her "Faithful Day."

God doesn't take remembrance lightly ... the word "remember" is thread so frequently throughout scripture that it seems vital to our spirituality. God established the Passover feast as a vehicle for remembrance, Joshua built an altar of twelve stones to remind generations of how God brought them
over the Jordan, Jesus instituted Communion to aid us in remembering his sacrifice, and Paul was constantly urging the church to remember what God had done and said.

The best part of our call to Remember? We remember God because he first remembered us. He has been faithful to his covenant with us, has engraved us on the palms of His hands, has delivered us from slavery, and remembered us on the cross.

Deuteronomy 6:10-12 warns, "When the Lord your God brings you into the land he swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, to give you—a land with large, flourishing cities you did not build, houses filled with all kinds of good things you did not provide, wells you did not dig, and vineyards and olive groves you did not plant—then when you eat and are satisfied,  be careful that you do not forget the Lord, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery."

We have chosen to be very intentional in remembering the ways that God has brought us in to our own little promised land.  One way we do this?

Set reminders in the center of our home! This is our mantle ... complete with the art piece Josh and I gave each other as a wedding present (Sundara Art), a picture from our wedding and our 'remember' jar. It holds trinkets that remind us of they way that God has built metaphorical cities, houses, wells and vineyards in our life. For example, we have a little house charm to remind us of God's providence in finding our house and Phoenix's NICU bill as a reminder of God's provision.
As our kids get older, not only will we make a habit of looking through these trinkets and speaking about what God has done, but they will get to contribute to the jar!

We want to make a big deal of celebrating the work of God in our family ... which brings me back around to Phoenix's faithful day.
I am so grateful for the unique ways that God is adding to our family -- especially because it means that each of our children will have a day to celebrate God's timing in their life! For Phoenix, it's her due date. We obviously expected a certain timeline and experience for her birth, but the Lord had something so different in store. We believe that her early days have set the trajectory for her life ... that she will forever stand in the victory of Christ, sustained by His power and set aflame for Him. And that is worth celebrating. For our next child, his/her faithful day will be the date the adoption is finalized, because we believe that his/her early days will set a trajectory as well!

So what will we practically do on these "faithful days?" Make our child feel special and celebrated, remember the work of God and proclaim big dreams for the future!

Yesterday, we celebrated as a family by mixing up our routine and going out to dinner.
First we stopped a sweet little bookstore in Decatur to get a little present for Phoenix:

Multicultural, indestructible book? Yes please!
 

After dinner, Phoenix got her very own piece of cake (which she almost finished by herself). We tried to take a picture with the cake, but sister couldn't wait ...

It was fun to eat out, explore and celebrate together!
How does your family "remember"?

Waiting

<--- Been reading this awesome book lately.

I promise I will (at some point) provide a thorough review of this book on French parenting. For now, I just want to share how God continues to teach me about being His child.

The fourth chapter of the book, aptly title "wait!" recounts the French emphasis on delayed gratification. Druckerman was struck by the capacity of French children to sit calmly in restaurants, to eat only one snack per day, and to generally have more command of themselves.
Turns out, from infancy, French parents make waiting a part of their children's reality. Intentional pausing allows babies to self-soothe and older children to self-distract, making them more autonomous and capable. If French families bake cupcakes in the morning, the children will expect to wait until their afternoon snack to sample the treats.

I am bought in. For my own sanity, I do not want to be at the constant beck-and-call of my children. But more importantly, I think is wildly unhealthy for babies/kids to believe the world revolves around them. I want our kids to feel part of something bigger than themselves, and to be capable of respecting the needs and desires of other people. Josh agreed, and we are already getting Phoenix on a more predictable eating schedule (which requires a little waiting).

Unfortunately, this book has heightened my already growing frustration with being a stay-at-home mom. I am so thankful for Phoenix, and do not regret being home with her up to this point. But I am stir-crazy. And under-stimulated. And unkempt. Anyone who knows me will not be surprised that I am desperately looking forward to either going back to work or school. I don't mind couponing, laundry, cooking and I LOVE hanging with Phoenix. But I would just love to not have those things comprise the totality of my existence.

The problem? I cannot justify putting Phoenix in some random daycare for a job that doesn't even matter to me. If I am going to drop my baby off with someone I don't know, I want to be pursuing my passions. And God has yet to present such an opportunity.

Last night, in tears, I was telling Josh how ready I am to contribute to the world outside our home. To my fatalist exaggerations about never being a regular person again, he tried gently reminding me that being a stay-at-home mom will not last forever. I responded, "But I am tired of it NOW!"

Hmmm. Feels a little like God is pulling the ole delayed gratification trick with me. Just when I decided that waiting it such an important part of nurturing maturity in Phoenix, God reminded me that my own life is no different.
There is no shortage of waiting in scripture, so I am sure the coming days will bring much study for the sake of encouragement.
In the meantime, I am thankful for a God who knows the longings of my heart, who is patient with my impatience, and is working something good in me.

Side note -- I got the stomach flu the morning after eating the recipe from my previous post. I am positive those things are not related (since Cami didn't get sick), but my subconscious apparently associates them. In other words, I almost gagged when I saw the picture below.

Favorite Baby Products

Seeing as I only have one child, I definitely do not consider myself an expert on anything related to babies. Nor am I familiar with a lot of the baby products on the market. Being a new mom is hard these days ... there are ten millions products for your infant, all endorsed as "must-haves."
And I guess there are indeed some "must-haves." Like a crib. Or a boppy pillow. Or diapers.
But here are some of the more obscure things that we have loved, and that have worked for Phoenix (in no particular order).

Itzbeen Baby Care Timer

I remember seeing this at Babies R' Us while registering, and thought it would be kind of cool to have. After Phoenix had been home for merely a week, Josh and I realized we couldn't ever remember what time we had last fed Phoenix (new parent sleep-deprivation was to blame). That is why this little gadget is so perfect ... you just push a button when you change a diaper or feed the baby, and it starts a timer. That way, when you wake up in the middle of the night, you can check to see how long it's been since the baby ate/pooped/whatevered. You can even have it "alarm"after a certain amount of time, which was great for us, since we would have to wake Phoenix up to eat. And it even helps you remember which side you last breastfed on. Loved it!

Aden + Anais Swaddle Blankets

  

 Cute little muslin swaddle blankets that are perfect for ... everything. Laying on the floor for tummy time, wrapping up a nap-thrasher, using as a light blanket, etc.






Cloud B Sleep Sheep

This sweet little stuffed animal creates gentle background noise, with 4 different sounds to choose from. Phoenix went to sleep listening to waves for the first several months at home -- not only did it help lull her to sleep, but it became part of the routine that would signal it was bedtime. This was especially great for her because she was used to all the NICU noise, so total silence was almost unsettling to her.






Tommee Tippee Bottles and Microwave Sterilizer 

We have LOVED these bottles. To be honest, we haven't really tried anything else, so I can't claim these are necessarily better than any other bottles on the market. I initially choose them because they are supposed to make switching between bottle and breast easier.  But we love them because: (1) the wide mouth makes cleaning easier, and adding formula much less messy (2) they have held up incredibly well after 8 months of constant use (3) we could use them with lids for breast milk storage while I was pumping, and (4) the shape is easy for us -- and now Phoenix -- to hold. I am a HUGE fan of the microwave sterilizer as well. When Phoenix first came home, it was really important that her bottles were sterilized, and this product made it SO easy. We still use it, even though it is not as necessary, just to make sure the bottles stay really clean.

Tommee Tippee Milk Feeding Bibs

Whoever thought of these is BRILLIANT! Baby necks rolls are notorious for collecting all kinds of gross things, especially if they are messy eaters. These bibs keep milk/formula from getting in those hard-to-reach places with an enlarged, absorbent collar. No more neck rashes!








 innobaby Packin' SMART

  A thoughtful friend gave me this wonderful product at my baby shower, and I LOVE it! I have used it primarily as a formula dispenser, but I am sure it will hold Cheerios and other little snacks in the near future. I pre-measure a serving of dry formula into each compartment, snap it all together, and keep it in the diaper bag for easing on-the-go eating. It locks tightly together, so I don't have to worry about a giant mess in my bag. The best part? Each inner compartment has a funnel lid, so it's not messy to get formula into a bottle. 




Itzy Ritzy Peek-a-Boo Pod

It will never cease to blow my mind how babies break down social norms. Would a stranger walk up and start stroking my hand? No. But Phoenix's hand? Yes. This awesome (and cute) carseat cover keeps strangers at bay, and keeps it dark and quiet if Phoenix is sleeping. I pretty much want to own everything that Itzy Ritzy makes.





Fisher-Price Rock n' Play Sleeper

 Best. Thing. Ever. Phoenix was in our room for the first several months, and we never owned a bassinet. She slept and hung out in this awesome rocker, which was so easy to move from room to room. The incline was awesome for her reflux, and the inside cover is machine washable (a must, in my book). She still likes this thing ... we keep in our bathroom now, and she will just hang out while I take a shower and get ready in the morning. I HIGHLY recommend this for moms-to-be ... it's the perfect little bed for the pre-crib days.




Planet Wise Wet Bag

 I mostly use wet bags for cloth diapering on-the-go, but I would still recommend owning one or two of these glorious inventions. You put wet stuff in it (ie. nasty clothes, used bibs, swimsuits, etc) and it keeps the rest of your diaper bag clean and dry. Then you just throw it in the wash. No plastic bag waste!







Charlie's Soap

 No need for baby soap if you use this stuff for all your washing (like we do). Non-toxic, environmentally friendly, economical, biodegradable, and doesn't leave residue on your clothes (like traditional detergent). And it is also great for cloth diapering!









Other products we have and endorse:

• Safety 1st onBoard35 Air Car Seat -- We got this as part of a travel system (with an accompanying stroller), and we LOVE it! It still looks good as new, and it incredibly easy to use. And it fits preemies (we would know) up to a 35lbs, which is a substantial range.
• Graco DuoDiner High Chair -- Machine washable seat pad, dishwasher safe tray and converts to a booster seat.
• Baby Einstein Neptune Ocean Adventure Gym -- if for no other reason, it's been great because of all the toys attached. But Phoenix stills loves laying on her back and reaching up for toys. 
• Fisher Price Laugh and Learn Jumperoo 
• OXO Tot Feeding Spoons -- Silicone tip, long handles, and they work like a spatula (both in the jar and on the baby's face).
• Penguin Cool-Mist Humidifier
• Moby Wrap

Favorite Toys:

• Fisher-Price Soothe and Glow Seahorse  
• Melissa and Doug Picnic Basket 
• Lamaze Tug and Play Activity Knot
• Fisher-Price Laugh and Learn Learning Puppy
• Taggies Blanket

Side note -- I am not an Amazomibe. I only included the Amazon links because I could find all the product links in one place.

Whew.

What are your favorite baby products? Why?